How else to explain why I haven’t posted in over a month? Life has kept me too busy to write about it! Utterly thrilled to have more than 24 hours off, and also that I will possibly be able to elaborate on that subject within that 24 hours!

I came home to my email this evening to discover that the lovely LOVELY folks over at YMI Jeans have featured me in their ‘The Next Big Thing: Summer BBQ Edition” blog post! I am over the moon to have my work featured, you really should check them out at YMI Jeanswear.

Their Next Big Thing blog is great, and features amazing artists and designers each week, along with their super-hot jeanswear!

They chose my ever-popular Enna barrette as the perfect solution to getting one’s hair beautifully out of the way for some serious BBQin’ action!

Perfect for your next summer BBQ 'do!

Thank you, David.

My friend David Somers passed away on Friday, April 24th. I came home to the email with the sad news this afternoon, and was so overcome with a sense of loss for the world. The world has lost a good, good man. A torch-bearer for the arts. A brilliant thinker, a leader. A goof. Such a good man. He was my boss, sort of.
It’s been almost 2 years since I last saw David, and the last time I saw him, he was being his usual self, cracking jokes about my wedding and honeymoon (which I had just gotten back from) wearing an awesome, funky green tie that hinted at his unconventional side, and smiling that wide, bright, goofy David Somers-smile. He was a happy man. That was the remarkable quality of David, he was always, always happy. He seemed so satisfied with his life. It was contagious, you felt better about your life witnessing how satisfied he was with his. In the two years and more that I worked with him, I never once saw him feeling anything other than genuinely pleased.

David had this poster on the wall of his office...it just killed me every time I saw it, and we traded a lot of jokes about it.

He was my boss, the Curator of the Peel Heritage Complex, but I won’t remember him that way. I will remember him as my friend, who had a crazy “When you ride alone, you ride with Hitler!” WWII propaganda poster on one wall of his tiny office, and a crazy optical bullseye painting on another; my friend who would tell me to “rock on, children” when I’d go to close his office door to the noise of a school tour that was ripping up the gallery; my friend whose writing provoked the most thoughtful appreciation of arts and culture in this country; my friend whose inherent brilliance always taught me something new, even when we were just trading snappy come-backs; my friend whom I wish I could’ve gotten to know better.

I wish that he continues to be happy, however he finds it. I am happy to have known him; I am happy that he was my friend.

How my brain feels today...

We watched our friend H finish a 10 km race this morning. It was beyond inspiring, for so many reasons, not just because he had just ‘up and decided’ to run this not too long ago, and only started training in January or February, though that was kind of tied into the kicker for me. The kicker was the realization that anyone can do this, therefore, why not do it? Gobsmackingly clear logic. Probably why it hasn’t dawned on me so clearly before. 

I was completely blown away at the energy of this event; yes, a thousand runners produce (and expend…and produce…and expend…) tons of energy, but the runner’s high at the end of the race was contagious, spilling over from the runners into the non-runners…making us acutely jealous that we weren’t dripping with sweat, soaking wet, totally exhausted, and grinning like a fool. I’ll admit it; I wanted in. I think I might have caught something from that running nation…’cause all day I’ve been up, down, winning, losing, wrestling with what it means to make better. To be better. I want to be better. I suppose that’s the lump of coal that drives that human condition…that we might willingly want to make ourselves better, and that we make projects, entertainment, journey out of it.

Oddly, I feel like I might understand my mother better right now, just from having typed that statement…

Anyhow, being around different people in a different situation, particularly on a groggy Sunday morning makes for some pretty good food for thought. I was over the moon for H completing his race to his standards (not to mention, totally thrilled that we somehow managed to get there just as he was running into the gates…weirdly awesome timing…) and I really enjoyed myself witnessing 1000 super happy people in one place…how often do you get to experience that…ever?And that’s just it…why can’t we? Why aren’t we pushing ourselves harder, and congratulating others for doing the same? Or rather…why aren’t I? I feel like I’ve been burning myself out for the past few months, but what am I accomplishing that makes me as happy as those folks this morning, with similar frequency? I used to look at runners and think “what the hell are you running away from? Or towards? Why the fuck are you doing this at all?” But now I get it. I get happy making jewelry, scoring hours in the studio, being a part of the amazingness that is Etsy, but I think that my body needs more happy. My brain can check the fuck out for all I care, but my body needs to feel like a body that works. Without pain. With clarity. I get little bites of this happy body high, but so infrequently lately. I get it when I perform, even after taking 2 hours of prep to get ready for a 4 minute dance, I get it in glimmers during a particularly good rehearsal. It’s the high. The high of bettering. And I want more of it. I’m a greedy bitch, I know, I know, but really, it’s time to hook me up. I want to stop feeling bad about all the stuff that I’m not doing for me, and feel high on all the stuff that I am doing for me. ‘Cause everything I’m doing, I’m supposed to be doing for me…or so I have been told…

I need more hits of Better™ in my life. I need to become my own bettering dealer.

Baby steps for the rest of the day, feeling so rattled by my inner dialogue, I took my confusion, apathy, fear and insecurities and paid them less attention while I got some Antoinette work done…Felt some satisfaction in getting a ton of photography done for new uploads this week. Here’s what went up this evening:

A pretty detail shot of The Sublime Strand: Red

And, as always, I had my kitty photo assistant to help keep it together…you know, knocking shit over and trying to jump on my backdrops…

So handsome...so destructive...

Also, I had forgotten to upload this pic a few weeks back when I took it. I have a terrible crush on this photo, a detail of The Sublime Strand: Blue that I uploaded to the shop at the beginning of the month. I could stare at this pic for days. 

My happy place...

I suppose that’s really all this soul-searching today has been about. Finding out about the happy place. Spending as much time there as possible. Because, really, that’s all there is. It’s all there ever will be. The only permanent condition: if it can be done, then why not do it?

And sometimes, it’s about knowing where the happy place is, and doing the work necessary to beat a navigable path to it…

The title of this post says it all, and Kang and Kodos said it best. I maintain that I am twirling towards freedom…like a toy top on crack. Freedom might simply be the edge of the table that the top spins off of…

Where the hell has April gone? Where the HELL!? I have missed you, my little blog, I have missed you little studio, piles of mess, burned finger-tips, proper rest, cooking, tax preparation (ok, maybe I haven’t really missed you, but…) house cleaning, time to think, proper vitamins and Etsy shop. I am at a loss to explain what the last 3+ weeks have even been like. So, in lieu of a silly backtrack, a recap, old news, and barely remembered rants, I’m just going to carry on like nothing’s happened (ha!) and continue forwards, not backwards, upwards, not forwards…

After 2 weeks, the new job is starting to feel more ‘normal’, whatever that means. Now that I have started the 4-day work week, I can feel my brain start to unclamp…it’s felt lately a lot like how you feel when you suddenly realize that you’ve been clenching your teeth unconsciously for hours…when you release the tension, the relief feels like pain, at first. Getting used to a.) a desk job, cubicle walls, sitting, sitting, sitting, b.) new peeps and the interpersonal currents that run in the office, c.) the TONS of new info to be absorbed and regurgitated in both official languages (one of them somewhat rusty…but quickly shining up) d.) being away from Mike, the boyos, the house, the studio a bit more e.) a whole new kind of time management…well, it’s been a bit hard. Mostly from the b.) perspective. God, people can be weird sometimes. Not saying it as a bad/good thing, just as a thing. A thing that I had forgotten since the last time I worked with more non-creatives than creatives. That said, overall, it’s feeling fine. And I’m happy with that. 

I am over the moon to have started the 4-day week. Just typing that phrase, “the 4-day week”…it’s a pleasure. I am so thankful that my new employer is open to this. So thankful. I feel like this split of time is so much more wholistic…I feel like I can be a whole version of myself this way, instead of feeling splintered. To a certain extent, asking for this has been like the Public Declaration of the Importance of My Business: I have to be able to do this, it is a key part of who I am. It’s is essential to my life. I will be a sad puppy without it! Was it simply asking for it what made it materialize…was it really that simple and easy? Who knows. I’m just so damn thankful.

Now. Back to the work…it’s been a long drawn out process to manage production with all this new work flotsam that I’ve had to deal with every day, but I now have tons of new work (sitting in front of me as I type this) waiting to be photographed and uploaded to Etsy over the next few days. Lots of prettiness, and I like all of it. That’s another current that I’ve noticed running for the past month or so…I really like all the work that I’ve created. It’s not hugely often that I like an entire body, or period of work, but lately, I’ve taken such pleasure in creating, and in all steps of creating (ok, I still kinda loath sanding…but even it’s seemed less of a chore…) that I end up liking the piece that I made simply because I was so into the whole process. My dear and lovely friend D said to me the other day “I really love what you’ve been uploading lately…there’s such a freshness to your new work.” I loved hearing that…it was a confirmation that I wasn’t imagining my satisfaction in my process. It’s a nice place to be for now.

Oh…so behind in this news, but I had the very good fortune of being selected for some gorgeous treasuries over the past while, and managed to have the sense to grab some screen shots of them before they went bye-bye.

A lovely, mellow yellow Treasury - and my earrings actually sold!

Pretty in Pink, featuring my Enna Pink barrette

Love the reds - a new necklace has been made to match the Red Bloom earrings!

A gorgeous bridal collection, presenting my pretty Sea Ruffle necklace

 

 

 

Another sunny collection...can you tell everyone has spring on the brain!?

Another Treasury featuring Sun Bloom...and they sold...gonna have to find more calcite...!

Oona...again! But this time, in a prom fashion Gift Guide!

Love these colours....and that splashy bowl!! Me wantee! Props to EnglerGlass for that beauty!

Spring pretties, including my Oona barrette

I know, I know, brag much? But really, while I was busy running around like a crack-addled chicken with it’s head cut off, my little shop continued to be noticed, and I was so touched to be included in these Treasuries, especially at a time when I was afraid that my business would feel neglected while I was trying to get my bearings…yes, I’m anthropomorphizing my  shop, but I was so terrified that it was going to feel like I was bailing on it…like I was jumping ship. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to express my gratitude properly to those kind, creative folks who included me in their gorgeous Treasuries. But I’ll try to with: Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you!

Ok, it’s most definitely time for bed, as I feel that I might soon be crossing the line into ‘non-sensical ramble’ country…and it’s a big country. Besides, we have to get up early tomorrow morning to cheer on our brilliant friend H as he runs a 10km in the rain. Yup, that’s right, he’s running…we’ll be cheering! His blog, 21stcenturyjester.com, is newly up, and it’s worth a gander…H’s illustrations keenly express his wicked sense of humor, and they are hilarious, sharp, and spooky-beautiful…in that order.

More soon, very soon…including pix of The Big Sparkly…

Ok, I know that it’s after midnight, so really, April Fools is long over, but there was a lot of foolin’ going on today, so I feel the need to post some silliness to mark it’s occasion.

1.) I go down to my car this morning, and lo and behold, the exhaust pipe is about 6″ off the ground. Upon closer inspection, I note that the bracket that holds the muffler up is corroded to dirt. *shiiiiiit* Naturally, this happens the day before pay day…I return home to a.) wake up husband (Me: “Sweetie, wake up. I need help MacGuyvering the muffler to the car!” Him: “Guh?” Me: “Put on pants, follow me…” and b.) call work to tell them that I’m going to be late. They immediately think I’m hoaxing them. I assure them that this is real, I’ll be there asap. Their reaction? “Yeah, right!” Punks.  I then go raid the studio for some sturdyish wire that I could use to MacGuyver the muffler to the car …I emerge, a few minutes and many swear words later, with PINK coated 14 gauge copper wire. Nice. Find me a pink hammer and I’m all set…Anyhow, Mike emerges with clothing, and we’re off. To get down under the car, in the oil stains and the dust, ass-cracks in the air, buttocks waving hello to all the bleary-eyed peeps dashing to their cars for their morning commutes, with pink wire, to fix the muffler. 10 minutes (and some neat and tidy wiring) later, I’m satisfied that Car can make it to work. I fire her up, and the whole underground parking lot thunders with my mufflery badassitude!! I sound like a biker gang! Kickass! I book it to work as fast as possible, gunning as much as I can to make as much noise as possible. Hugely satisfying so early in the morning!! Make it to work, inspect pink wiring handiwork: muffler is still attached. I’m only a half-hour late (thereby dissolving all suspicion of attempted hoax on my co-workers…they are actually impressed that I got there so quickly!) A small victory. The drudgery of a day at cash begins….

Until…

2.) The temp sign set up by Moores (men’s clothing warehouse in the same plaza) has been creatively rearranged during the night, no doubt by the potheads who spend each evening drinking shit Tims coffee, dealing contraband, and comparing penis size, um, I mean tricked-out Hondas in our parking lot. I had to hand it to them…this was some pretty great reworking:

*tee hee hee!* *BWAH HAH HAH!*

We all laughed to tears over this.

Within an hour it had been ‘cleaned up’, but our enterprising visual merchandiser managed to snap it before the situation was ‘re-erectified…’ For once, my hat goes off to the potheads.

I spent the rest of the day listening to the howling wind that was assaulting our front entrance and to the digi-bird calls being squeezed out of the plush song bird toys that are irritatingly near to cash. By 4 pm, I was having knife fantasies. Knife in eye fantasies. 5 pm couldn’t come fast enough!!

Once home, I was able to decompress, eat a massive salad for dinner (thereby making more virtuous the following:) make peanut butter cookies (damn, they are transcendentally good) and spend some quality time with Twitter and Etsy. Read Ms. Excellence’s recent postings…her writing has me in stitches, constantly. Happy to note that I’m in another treasury, I’m feeling really honored and lucky to have been chosen for as many as I have…I loves loves loves the Red Bloom earrings that were included in this one:

A firey collection as chosen by CasualGal from sateam

Managed to knit together enough brain power to upload another new piece to the etsy shop. The newly reincarnated Fiorella earrings, with honkin’ big rose quartz briolettes. So pretty. They make me think of rainy strolls, April in Paris, the crocuses on Parliament Hill…

Luxuriously long pretties!

It’s almost time for bed, and Mike calls me over to his computer to show me something awesome; and again, we’re laughing to tears. I guess that’s a good finish to April Fools, right?

Hope you enjoy this as much as I did…sometimes pure silly is just what the doctor ordered. May I present to you, Habanera by The Muppets.

I’m just over the moon tonight. It’s brilliant. I, by some universal favor, have just landed a sweet new job. Literally out of the blue. A job that will challenge me, allow me to work with a team, allow some flexibility, and most importantly, enables me to spend a day a week with my beloved Antoinette. I am speechless with gratitude (or so I say, but really, I’ll keep talking…;) My back and feet literally rejoice at the realization that in two weeks, I will be sitting for chunks of the day, instead of standing for all of it. My brain is smiling in anticipation of it’s impending usage and growth! My bank account is giggling like a school girl at the thought of having a few pennies in it to earn interest on, instead of the family of tyrannical money-moths that has taken up residence! I am pinching myself. I am in shock.

What else can I say? Oh…and I’ll be able to afford materials for my lovely Antoinette, a thought that relieves me to no end considering I cracked into my last package the other day. My creativity suffers when I know that I’m low on materials…it sucks. I can feel my brain slapping the manacles of ‘logical responsibility’ on my creativity when I’m down to the last package of clay; “you should make things that have already sold, you should make lots of tiny earrings, etc, etc, blah, blah…” This mind-prattle (admittedly) has been what has slowed my progress down over the past week or so… knowing that I am now gainfully, gratefully, gleefully employed (for a job that I actually want to do…shock and amazement…) brings such a surge in inspiration that I find myself up late tonight, cleaning up photos, listing new items, continually pinching myself and blogging about all of it…instead of going to bed like a good girl!

The two other happys that flank the big happy like a happy honor guard (that’s it, now that I’ve written that sentence, I love the way ‘the big happy’ looks written out… I will continue to refer to the new job as ‘the big happy’…that sets it up nicely I think! Anyhow, I digress…big shock…)

Antoinette Design's 4th Treasury appearance!

1.) I’m in another treasury! Very happy to discover this late last night (and then stymied that I couldn’t further discover which item had been chose ’cause Etsy was down for scheduled maintenance!) My delicate Enna Pink hair barrette was chosen by the lovely LAValleyGirly from the Starving Artists team to be part of this pretty treasury titled ‘Easy…’ *grin* I love making hair barrettes and hair jewelry, lately it’s been a major preoccupation….which leads me to…

2.) I’ve just uploaded the 60th item to my Etsy shop!!! Oona Antique is the lucky #60, which seems a more fitting honor for this pretty, little barrette that the curse words I was hissing to myself as I poked my fingertips into oblivion trying to get it’s wiring just right…Anyhow, I love the artifactiness of this piece, the photos don’t do it justice, the patina is magical.

The 60th item to be added to my Etsy shop! Huzzah!

That’s it for tonight, I’m off to bed, so that I can ensure that I’m bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to give my notice tomorrow morning at ‘the other job’!

Woot…I’m in another one! And it’s a beaut…dig the sweet sunshiny treasury compiled by the lovely LisaHolley, a fellow member of the Starving Artists Etsy Team!

Mellow Yellows! part 1

Yellow and her Fellows, not Mellow Yellows (part 2)

This evening, as I’m deeply researching alternative ways to promote my sweet little Antoinette to the world (I like to think that perhaps my jewelry could contribute to world peace…or the abolishment of universal unfairness…but of course, these are lofty aspirations, I’d settle for ‘Antoinette Designs: Global Bringer of the Pretty!’) Mike and I hear the loudmouth sports announcer utter the words …”about as alive as Marie Antoinette…” as the 11 o’clock news drones on in the background.
Mike turns to look at me from his drawing table and says “well that was a bit of random coincidence, eh?” Well, sure…if you believe in coincidence…;)
I shall have to master telepathically beaming my business info into the brains of prattling new announcers, so that they inadvertently promote my business without even knowing it…I’m *SO* on it….

Some happy news! I’ve been accepted to the Glamour in the Glebe Jewellery Show on May 8-9!! So very excited!! A chance to visit family and drink copious amounts of wine with Ms. Excellence and sell and promote my little heart out, AND write the whole trip off! Whoot!
Visit http://www.gnag.ca for more info, and I’ll post more as I get it…
Speaking of posting, dig the lovely greenness that I added to the shop this evening…

The first of The Sublime Strand series

I’m writing this post from my perch at cash…very surepticiously I might add. God, I love my iPod. It’s been a bit of a hard week. The financial reality of working a day less a week at the ‘other’ job has shown itself, and I think this added stress has caused me some physiological stress as well…or perhaps amplified it. My foot is so sore everyday that the constant pain is starting to chip away at my patience with the little things. I end up standing in one place at cash for 8 hours and my foot is so angry with me at the end of it that it takes me a day just to kiss and make up with it! Fielding comments from total strangers about ” that bump on your eye” is favorite pastime too…(please detect a note of irony!)
My internal response  is always “who the hell raised you?!” Seriously, who in their right mind thinks that asking about a disfiguring lump on eyelid, in front of others (say, like a line-up of customers at cash) is helpful, or even thoughtful?
ANY mention of it really hurts my feelings, as well-meaning as the asker may be, unless it’s Mike…and he just asks how it feels today, tells me it’s not very noticable and that I’m beautiful…which always calms me down. He’s good like that He’s good, period.
March Break this week has crammed the store full of stressed out parents looking for activities to placate their kids…and because everyones watching their pennies (supposedly…personally I don’t think blowing 200 bucks on scrapbooking paper for your 6 year old constitutes ‘watching’…regardless of your income bracket) they act like you’re trying to rip them off at cash. I understand that everyone wants a discount, I’m right there with you, but don’t yell at the cashier because we won’t give you a discount on your discount. Nice try.
Speaking of trying, I suppose I should at least be happy that customers in general are trying anything. Particularly evident on a busy week like this is the fact that so few people are actually trying, learning or experimenting anymore. It’s like ‘due diligence’ is an extinct concept. Of course this is a generalization, bit I’m dismayed at how many people ask me for a.) step by step product usage (the “so, how do I actually use this?” line of questioning, which, generally, I’m fine with) b.) the “I’m not sure what it is but it looks like this…”question, or ( most alarmingly) c.) “do you have any ideas on …?”

Do I have any ideas? Really? REALLY?
Why don’t people have the initiative to learn things for themselves anymore? My god, we have internet now…researching and learning is FUN. They say ” I really don’t have time to figure this stuff out.” I say: ” between my two jobs and voluntary position in a dance troupe that rehearses twice a week, I work an 80 hour work week. I have time.” 90% of my abilities in metal clay are self-taught, learned from the net, a few workshops , or, (wait for it) books. Any skill that I have in dance was acquired through classes, practice and self-directed study. My husband went to school for illustration for 3 years…do you think that was the end of his learning about his work/craft? Of course not, he’s constantly learning new techniques, processes, or researching a favorite artist’s means to project completion.

Almost everyday that I work at the store, I get a stream of questions that tend to unfold in this manner: A customer approaches me about canvas: Them: what kind of paint do you use on this?” Me: “acrylic or oil” Them: “oh, what are those? You mean I can’t use my kid’s poster paint?” Me: “Nope, poster paint won’t really adhere all that well, but these paints here are made for this kind of surface and are way more fun to use” *points to vast assortment of pretty paint* Them “Oh, ok. Just one more thing, how do I actually paint…?…”

*sigh*
Now, I recognize that my job as a sales associate is to help people, but who gets to draw the line between help and teaching? Help is one thing; “here is the paint you need” or ” here is a book that you could learn from.” Asking “How do I paint?” is like me going to a car dealership, energetically purchasing a new car and then innocently asking “So, how do I drive this thing, anyhow?” I make a lot less as a sales associate than I would if I were an art teacher (about 1/3rd of what I’d make as a teacher, as I have learned from previous experience) so really, aren’t I being paid to just help customers? Just help. All friendly like. I feel like customers should recognize that we are there as friendly, knowledgable help, not as a private tutor. Or as a private designer. If you want my ideas, pay me for them. I work hard and spend a lot of time filling my big, juicy, geeky brain with helpful knowledge and experience. I feel that it is through this process that one creates a meaningful life. I don’t ask anyone to teach me anything that I haven’t invested myself in, because I believe that there has to be an energetic exchange between the receiver of knowledge and the giver/teacher. Yes, I’m aware I get paid to help others, and that is the exchange. But my contract states that I am there to help, not to teach, and I’m sorely tired of the boundary being smeared by everyone, like so much crappy poster paint on canvas.

Ok, so I’m on my way to bed, and I decide to check my Etsy show once more, tuck it in for the night (really, it’s an addiction, and I needed one last hit!) and decided to head over to www.craftopolis.com to see my Treasury West listing all officially listed…like I said, it’s an addiction! Well lo and behold, I discover that I’m in *another* treasury today too! Insert girlie scream here! 

This is such a beautiful selection...I am thrilled to be featured in it! Dig the gorgeous felted turtle! *love*